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2010-04-09T22:08:00.002+08:00

i just read my previous posts and i realised how different I am now
I don't know why
pherhaps life was much simpler then

There are many things I just cant say
would you understand if i did?
I don't know, everyone seems so different
I dont want to talk

I think i'm confused
there's this heavy weight pressing onto my chest
and there're so many things bothering me

Maybe its time for some ice cream

2009-12-06T00:16:00.002+08:00

it has been more than a year since i last posted. haha. i dunno why im posting now but i guess i just need to pen(type rather) down some of my thoughts. i don't think anyone will notice it, but its ok :)

Its like wow, time really flies. Many things have changed, inevitably. Honestly, this year is probably the worst year in my life. haha. Most likely due to the stupid decisions that i keep making. lols. Like my school. Not like i had much of a choice. But I think its my fault too. I just can't seem to accept the fact that i ended up there. Life has never been so empty before, everyday is like a routine, just keep going and never stop. Seriously, i have no idea why i study so hard. Sure, its for my future. This year i really pia-ed from the start and i think i got in the top 10%. But the happiness i get is only temporal. I only did it cos i had to. I can't help looking back, to the sec. sch days which were full of fun and laughter.

Its really sad because the people whom i used to be so close to seem to be so distant now. Its now really hard to just talk to them. So i prefer to bottle up my thoughts and ended up pushing the people around me away. i have no idea why but i just can't help it. Sorry if i have upsetted anyone, which i must have. aish!

but of course there are moments of happiness. Thanks to those 2 people who accompanied me to supper for quite a few days. They really made me forget about my troubles and just live in that moment :) and my mum too. i think she's the only person who understands me the most and i really <3 her

Im sure my problems are just minor ones as compared to others, so.. i'll move on and continue to live :)

i think its going to be another year before i post again..hehe xD

2008-11-16T15:11:00.003+08:00

wow! so many things happened
ok talk about the more prominent one
class outing!!
it was great fun!!
went to the beach to play. haha
everyone got pulled in the water except a few
haha!
but didnt sit the luge ride =(
then had to leave early cos had job interview at daiso
when i reached, they told me no vacancy T.T
hais waste my time
i found out yvonne lost her pouch too =(
must be bad scorpio day!!! haha

oh my couz helped me to paint my toe nails at her booth
wow feel so pampered la XDD

ahh so troubled now
cos prom is coming and i have no idea of what to wear
and im going to malaysia soon
ahh going kisiao alrdy x.x

2008-10-05T00:26:00.003+08:00

the house is so quiet without my parents around
esp my mum ><
but they'll be back soon ^^

16 more days
gawd studying is depressing
thank god for muttons
haha.

i knew it would happen luh.
just like history repeating itself
D:

2008-09-04T23:07:00.003+08:00

oh no!
it isn't what you think it is
lols nevermind

haha went to sg poly the other day
ok la quite fun
like class outing, although only have like a quarter of the class xD
got lunch buffet!!
the food nice
haha

hmm but i still wanna go jc though xD
ok lazy to post pics xD

ciao;D

2008-08-29T23:30:00.004+08:00

whoo
i just want to lie in bed and read all day
hai addicted already
LOL

i duno
its like a form of escape from reality i guess
but it also contain a new meaning to life
In contrast to mine..lols

it wasn't intentional
but kind of sad that it has turned out this way
maybe it just me la
what do we mean to you anw..

fireworks!!
went to watch at marina bay last week
it was exhilarating and a once in a life time experience!
but i hate crowds la x.x
and the stupid shoe that left me with bisters
its worth it i guess!;D

2008-08-16T01:00:00.002+08:00

wow oral
they so unfriendly leh..
and see liao cannot talk le
x.x

Olympics!!!!
principal say cannot watch
but i still watch all the same
hehe xD

Michael Phelps!
gymnastics!
eye candy . LOL!

why do you keep doing that? hais

2008-07-25T21:31:00.002+08:00

great la
screwed up everything

but i tried?
X.X

im drained....
i want to sleep and sleep
although i just napped =x

ahhh
but i found out i learned something new everyday
lols

you must love a person before you can hate a person
interesting huh..
from the 2 drama addicts
LOL

its super rare that i have time for myself la..
maybe i'll just sit in dad's new chair and daydream..
hehe

2008-06-09T23:04:00.002+08:00

hmm
i should stop going out
and devote my life to studying
haha
so tempting la..

so saddening
so distant
aiya life goes on..lols

whats the point la?
><

2008-05-26T20:15:00.000+08:00

=(

im doomed

2008-05-18T00:52:00.003+08:00

waaa this week
wana die already la
piles and piles of hw
only got like 5 hours of sleep everyday
end up like walking zombie, even started to sleep in class
ahhhh
and due to the lack of sleep, i get grouchy and super irritated =x

at least mon is a public holiday
whoo! damn happy la! xD

just want to slp and slp
at least can escape from reality in that few hours
ironic man..
high standard of living but its so empty
rather live in jungle..at least im happier. haha..

the chi olvl is coming
scared la..die die must get A1

that dont kill me, can only make me stronger ;D

its all about choices
my life, my choices =D

2008-05-04T01:59:00.002+08:00

sometimes out out nowhere i will just remember those times in the past
really miss it la
esp when there was so much fun and laughter
those times at anywhere and everywhere talking crap
haha..
that day i dreamt that i forgot how to play badminton
and it scared half the hell out of me..

now its just eat breathe live study
also dreamt about all those tests
and scared the other half the hell out of me
its no wonder im going kisiao
X.X

i duno
sometimes im just not in the mood for it la..zz

and if we're not good enough for you,
then i dont know

ok its morning
but nites anw ;D

2008-04-18T20:32:00.002+08:00

this week is such a loong week. somehow.
and what la, got a miserable B3 for the cca thingy
X.X
adam khoo workshop next week!
haha i wanna see how they make me cry
i think we are all gonna cry anw
lols.

ahh
i feel so handicapped
cant reply T.T

maybe i expect more
but its boring
come on, spice up my life.
haha!

we only got 4 minutes to save the world!

2008-04-13T22:39:00.002+08:00

physics ct tmr!
die die must pass!
haha gary will treat me lunch if i pass! xD

today had badminton
yea but like cant get into the mood
i wonder if im not smart enough for them, and will i ever be?

thanks old pig
you have always stuck up for me and offered advice
& i can always confide in you
really appreciate it ^^

yea and maybe i expect too much
the higher you set your hopes, the more disappointed you will get
until now its still empty..im still empty

i've to learn to set my priorities right..
sry if i disappointed you or anything
but i would gladly spend my time with you
and you know you never fail to make me happy
^^

hais back to mugging
nites-

2008-04-08T20:09:00.002+08:00

ahhhh

it will always be like that
no matter what i choose
so bad huh

i want!
that giant chihiro poster
its so nice la
maybe i'll make one for myself
provide inspiration.
haha!

nites-

2008-04-06T00:26:00.003+08:00

ahhh
its so disappointing
to climb so high then fall and break my leg
sucks la..
if they can, why can't i?
put so much effort and got this shitty resuts

but. i'll make sure it dosen't happen again
i'll climb up again
yea!
haha.

frisbee and floorball is so fun!
haha.
spent time playing outside the class
for floorball its all about whacking
see the ball then whack it lor. hahaha

what i really want to say is
although we are not academically talented and blah,
but life's always interesting with 4/1! ^^
jiayou in all the sports!
we can win de! hehe.

im not a great friend huh.
sry if i did anything that was insensitive to your feelings and pushed you aside

& i want your company..

2008-03-21T01:46:00.003+08:00

ahh i feel so bad
sorry la, lousy at this kinda things
hais

emptyemptyempty
so many questions. but no answers.
...

step up 2 is so nice!
although i watched it for the 2nd time, i still love it
esp the finale
lols

hmm peace and qiuet
empty night sky
xD

2008-03-08T14:54:00.010+08:00

AHHH

stepped down le

time really flies la..

3 years gone just like that

haha to think of the times that we wanted to step down quickly

but now its like very she bu de la =(

i know we most likely wont join badminton as a cca again

but it was really memorable la :)

esp with limting and renfang

they are two of the few people who can really make my day

and make me laugh like hell

hahaha.

and of course jerelyn

our wei da the captain!

ya and all the juniors

will miss you all!

time to concentrate on studies le..

hafta clock 20 banana hours

but i'll look on the bright side

and see it as a opportunity to revise! hehe.

GOGOGO

JIAYOU!! xD

2008-02-23T23:22:00.002+08:00

lol flag day today
went round asking for donations with a smile plastered onto to my face
wow i've never smiled so much before
haha.
most of them have this stony face which says 'dont approach me'
and the majority who donated were the older people
stood there until leg cramp
haha.
it was a good experience la
you wont know until you tried out
it taught me to smile more
lols

wow this whole week has been so busy
with all the file checks
im drained la
keep falling asleep during lessons la
hafta slap myself to keep awake
lols
shi jun is super lameee
Mr. shi LOL

band's concert is on next week
aiyo dont feel like going la
-____________________-
rahhhhhhhhhhh

for that spilt second i was so happy
to know that you cared
thanks ah :)

aiyo guilty guilty ><
why cant we talk

2008-02-13T22:20:00.002+08:00

tomorrow's valentine's day
and everyone is excited. lols
somehow im not..
cant get into the mood
just feeling super empty
emptyemptyemptyemptyempty
ahhhhhhhh
this emptiness is killing me =/

ahhhhhhhhhh
my earpiece is spoilt too
one side has no music T.T

cny's over too
just that empty feeling again
somehow its not as nice as last year's
i keep eating la ><
nothing to do then eat lor xD

its the state of bliss you think you're dreaming
but then you are
lols

better go sleep now
nites & ciao!

2008-02-02T20:26:00.000+08:00

its the weekend!
cny is coming too
cny = holidays xD
but the weekend's too short la
still have many things to do
im still feeling sleepy..
the only thing that can keep me awake is food
cny goodies!<3

yea tournament's over too
he placed us there to get killed
so one by one, we died
don't really feel anything
just..numb?
lol..

i just realised there's no point thinking
cos it doesn't change anything
lols
feels good
when its just me and the music xD

you want a piece of me?? haha
catchy but nice
typical britney song
haha

when i saw that,
i never want to see them again

2008-01-30T20:41:00.001+08:00

her eyes..
were shining like the stars in the sky
was falling

its just unspeakable and undescribeable

i should stop thinking
its making me more ki siao
..
i can't think la
my mind is blocked

i've forgotten what its like to walk slowly
thinking of nothing

so disappointed la..
duno if i can make it
with my current state of mind
...

cant offer anything..

nth to say le. lol.
nites

2008-01-26T18:33:00.000+08:00

i think i am going ki siao
everyday's tiring
school during day
homework during night
i think im suffering from lack of sleep
oh well gotta get used to it
everyone keep saying its a most impt year
i wanna do well..
dont wanna disappoint my parents
cos they were always so nice to me
i would be guilty if i let them down

yea then the tournament
losing sucks
winning sucks too, esp if its a lousy one
maybe its the nerves, but its a stupid excuse
hais
the images just kept repeating in my mind
making me cringe
why i made so many mistakes when i could have avoided it
oh well
dun think i'll play again le..
so good luck to the rest
jiayou! ur can do it!

silence is golden
silence is deadly
silence is awkward
awkward is super awkward =/
i really dont know le
dont know what exactly is it that i want

dont know what to say
its hard to open up to anyone
...
i should forget
before it happens again..
last.

2007-12-30T23:38:00.000+08:00

sch's going to reopen in like 2 days
yup new year ahead
year 2008 is going to be eat sleep school homework
many things have changed too

this is probably my last few nights online
no more night marathons T.T
but the hols were super fun la :D
thanks to all the people who made my days and nights xD

haha for my new year resolution
hope to do well in studies
aso do better in badminton
and stay happy! xD

2007-12-29T16:35:00.000+08:00

wow i feel like crap !
hot and cold all over
seems like the flu's back
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !

ya how to go ktv tmr
my singing sucks
and with the flu
*breaking glass*
haha

my maid just told me
she placed a pail of water at the basin
and 4 birds flew in by the kitchen window
and started bathing happily
anyone's got a gun? =x
well i hope my toy gun still works
the birds having been pecking on food and shitting all over the kitchen la
haha
its actually quite funny xD

haha rf wear ur christmas present!!
its nice wad
pink and polka dots too
its like i buy pink stuff? @.@
hahas

yea and i duno how to put it in words
and so i shan't xD

2007-12-29T01:01:00.001+08:00

wow that was damn awkward
what do you wan me to say? ><
smart ppl are kinda scary><
yea i aso duno how to say
will it change everything?

and my butt bone still hurts la! T.T
not funny ar=/

hahas
ok here's a picture of the apple
yea now my bed has no space xD

2007-12-27T23:51:00.000+08:00

how to say?
how to express?
how to get a 6?

thats all the things i've got to figure out..

hols are ending! T.T
why do all good things come to an end?
lols

the homework is unfinshable de la!
they just wanna kill us
how am i supposed to know whats effrontery
or ostentatious, or cacophony
im not a walking dictionary for goodness sake

i just wanna go out
have fun before the hols end
and before the mugging starts
yea. lols

nice to hug! xD

2007-12-27T00:09:00.000+08:00

sigagsintaaoyi
hdisiaayudnnod
ionavlmonateuo
tiypewludrtywn
lsoebaireeoiie
aausiykerasctv
elrtrseysspahe
vwettanetoenwr
eayohbosannth
ryeytotynidpa
tssoouhoddylt
hwiumtiumooee
irfwehndenuav
noihiigoitrse
gnwytminhwmer

just feeling random..
a hug to make it all right

2007-12-25T13:17:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! xD

haha. yea its christmas!

the joy of giving and receiving xD
and eating!!

but i fell sick! -_-

3 in one, cough flu cramps

really suey

feel terrible =(

oh well

i guess there's more than meets the eye
maybe i live in too much comfort
nv got to experience what they experienced

still nags me to think why i don't have a goal
other than being a millionaire of course
oh well

most of all
its built to last~

2007-12-22T23:41:00.000+08:00

wa
quite shag la
escaped at thurs, bmt on friday
didn't sleep much
but caught up on sleep yesterday
lols

i just realised that i love it la
just don't like how they make it so tough
and why we suck at it
oh well
its like too late le..

ahhh
homework not finshed
and my mother found out )x
and she gonna ban me from going out =(
stupid me, went to buy the thickest assessment -_-

whooo
2 christmas dinners!
can't wait to eat xD
don't i just love christmas~ xD

2007-12-20T00:20:00.000+08:00

this few days
either go out or slack at home
haha
im getting cash-strapped! T.T
and the thing is
im spending my money on food xD
and nowdays im having the urge to do 100 sit ups and push ups
haha

yea parents are back
they bought loads of candy!
and food!
the strawberries are just 棒 la!
hehe
and the hw
ok i tried to do xD
managed to do abit la

whoo escaping tmr
but i doubt if i can wake up la

i duno how to make you happy
tell me?

2007-12-15T00:02:00.000+08:00

WHOO~~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WENDY!!!
haha!
my fellow owl & crapping buddy
finally 15 le wootss!

haha anw here's a video
http://youtube.com/watch?v=83Sx8z7jiSk

yea..
today nth much
but i found out what they say to each other!
if you know what i mean =x
haha
at the body shop,
nearly bit a capsule that contained lotion
haha!
it looked edible la!
and hl keep suaning me -_-
can join the qianbian club with lt
haha

lols
not gonna go for late night internet marathon for next 5 days
cos parents not around
and i dunno how to on the com =x
its an apple com
and there are no buttons anywhere!
oh well
time to do some hw too

haha
拿得起, 放的下
as edmund says
so all e best :D:

you all
really make my day(night) :)
hahas
& i wonder if its an illusion

2007-12-13T22:20:00.000+08:00

so frustrating la..
but don't have then aso no choice
no fate lols
hard to forget''

this few days are like argh
even the speaker system gave up on me
can't turn on, for whatever reason
ahhhhhhhh D:

go out!
hehe like finally
cos they all so busy
can't wait
whoo~

christmas season..
candy cane is so nice~
shall buy 2 more boxes xD

ok im getting hungry
ciao~

2007-12-11T22:27:00.000+08:00

wa..
today many people ps-ed
only a handful turned up for training
its kinda weird..
lols

yea.
then after that
took a super long train ride
but ended up walking aimlessly at tampiness mall
cos erm someone ps-ed to spend time with ____
haha =x

but quite fun la
crapped alot with lt
haha!! XD

hmm
am i obsessed?
ahhhh
forget it

back to muttons! whoo~ xD

2007-12-10T00:54:00.000+08:00

my butt hurts
its been hurting for quite a few days now
maybe its the bikes
oh well
the bone there
it still hurts

yea..
has been raining constantly for the past few days la
dec monsoon or smthg
very coldd lols

i'm bored too
i wanna go genting!!
and all those unfinshed hw
ahhhhh

oh well
its easy to experience, hard to forget
or maybe im too easily affected la
lols
i need new songs!~

2007-12-03T23:57:00.000+08:00

its hard to please people..
so its best not to please anyone lol
too..different?lols

yes, i will forget
haha

2007-12-02T00:55:00.000+08:00

crap ah..
cant
will only pull her down la
aiya
i know he didn't want to
can sense it la
like hopeless sia
cannot perform la

dunno la
sorry ah..

2007-11-24T14:52:00.000+08:00

BBQ yesterday!
ok la, quite fun
its the same throughout the 3 years
but quite alot ppl didn't came
no need expect too much la, cause will only be disappointed
haha

this year the bbq is more of busy
hafta carry all the things to east coast
heavy! but can manage la
at least nearer than last year one
rented bike, mostly used for buying things
still love riding bike~
fly with the wind!

then after that go bbq things
first time eh!
i'm always the one waiting to eat
hehe
became otah mei
roxanne become mallow/hotdog mei
wanqing banana mei
jerelyn chicken mei but she quit
so became rf
haha!
fun la

then when reach home,
whole body was aching
bt cannot sleep la
still quite high haha!

i was thinking of this guy on this show who could read minds
like scary leh, if people can hear your inner thoughts
but i wanna read people's minds
haha
if it has passed than its in the past
no point pondering
but still..
dunno how to say la
haha

结果咧~

2007-11-20T10:05:00.001+08:00

just abit emo la
and abit of reflection
im fine
lol
not asking for anything la

2007-07-06T20:29:00.000+08:00

life is getting hectic..
ZZZ.